pissed!!

26th august 9:20pm - my evening didnt end so good , i had an appointment at 6pm , then abt 6:45 pm , my owner said she can only make it at 8:30pm , wher i dont think i can wait ... i wanna go home n hv my dinner .... so , i arrange all documents n balance deposit to my client , so tht both party can settle it them self ... there was an agreement between the owner n me tht i will get a certain portion of the deposit as my agent fees , but just now , she twisted her words n said tht she didnt agree on it ... so , ther was some heat argument on the phone ...thts made me more moody heading home .... i feel tht things is getting worse n worse each day ... n its taking a toll on me ... im trying so hard not to get another of my emotional breakdown ( the last i had one was 2 years ago ) ... im controlling my frustration n my tears back but its so hard to do ... im in a situation where i dunno wat the next step to take or to go .... oh god , i wish tht the ' almight' could give some guidance in this ... mayb , just give a small light of happiness ...
mayb, i hv done too many sins in my life , ? so , this is part of my punishment ... i hv been thru so much of hardship , not sure whether i can face another one right now ...
ok , i need to clear my mind ... adios